I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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