You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
