why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
