She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
