So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
