I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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