Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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