well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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