Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Randomize
