I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
