My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
