hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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