I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
