If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
