Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
