I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Never let your siblings swipe right.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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