she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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