Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
