I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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