i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
