i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
