Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just threw up on my dentist
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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