I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
