Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
