she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
