About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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