The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
