You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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