wanna go halves on a baby?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize