last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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