i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
