i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
