I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
