I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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