So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
