Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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