You're completely useless in the revolution.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
