I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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