This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
