Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
