I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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