oh god the rape fog is back!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
