Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
