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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
