dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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