So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
