I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
