this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
