You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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