What did we do last night that was yellow?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
