Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
