That's intense
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
