Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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