so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
50% drunk capacity currently
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
