its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
