I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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