Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she smelled like a LAN party
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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