just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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