The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
