Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
