I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
