i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
