Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
