He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
