I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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