i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
