and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The uberlube is also flammable
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
